[Log - Who's there?]

[mem_more_mihs]

Maurice sat at his desk writing steadily with both hands, as usual. His door was open, which meant that he did not mind being disturbed, as usual. He was as ever ready for visitors whether personal or business related, as usual.

Only very rarely were any of these conditions not met. Being one of the more sociable Memory Keepers it often fell to him to pass on messages to the rest of the group from outside forces as well as those inside. Still, he didn't mind the responsibility, it was almost always a pleasant surprise when he heard somebody knocking on the door.

"Come in," his effeminate and gentle voice called out with a smile. He didn't look away from his page though, he was so close to finishing it that he simply could not.

Comments

[mem_more_mihs]

Maurice gave a knowing nod.

"When you have everything you have everything to lose." He smiled gently. "Tell me how you are feeling, and air out your head okay?"

[darrynmiquiztli]

Darryn gave a sigh, giving in somewhat reluctantly. "I'm conflicting with myself. I want to give him time, like... away from work and the family and me. I want him to go beyond the social circle of Memory Keepers - not that you guys aren't great and all, but he needs more than that.

"But then at the same time, I don't... because I'm terrified that he's this great handsome guy, and now he's not so caught up in guilt and self-loathing that he can really show it and attract other people," Darryn trailed off, then pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"I'm dumb. That's it basically."

[mem_more_mihs]

"I don't think that's at all unreasonable." Maurice told him to his surprise. "It's only fair that you should keep the spoils of that which you fought so hard for. It's actually sweet that you want hi to get out there, despite your anxieties." He gave a smile.

"You're a good person Darryn. You always do what is best for others, so you are entitled to feel your feelings as a backlash from your kindness."

[darrynmiquiztli]

"I'd trust the judgement of a good person to know one of their own kind."

Darryn smiled a little, but it seemed more an automatic reaction than genuine emotion. He sat himself down in a chair that the library had helpfully pulled up for him.

"I feel worse because... I don't think Thanatos gets jealous at all, or just... different upbringing clash or something. So, I can't really explain it to him without feeling like I'm being a stupid uneducated lesser person, or over-emotional, or annoying him."

[mem_more_mihs]

"Thanatos probably would get jealous, were it not for his past." Maurice commented. "I suppose in many ways, were you to need another partner or even another lover, he would feel a sense of atonement. Were it not for that I imagine things would be rather different."

He smiled, despite the weight of the conversation he still managed to add.

"You're not annoying."

[darrynmiquiztli]

Darryn shook his head decidedly at Maurice's words. "I'm a one-partner kind of guy, always have been. I mean, we've had fights about that before, so we don't bring it up anymore... but yeah."

Darryn rubbed his forehead, "I doubt if he wanted another partner or lover, I'd be able to really cope with that. But I'd want to cope with it to make him happy. Geez... Maurice, what was my point here again? Oh yeah. That I'm a stupid jealous guy."

[mem_more_mihs]

"Jealousy is perfectly natural." Maurice assured once more. "It isn't your fault that us eternal beings have rather unnatural ways about us. I am sure as long as you do not let your insecurities build up until you lash out, things will be fine.

Do have a care though, I know what you are like when it comes to keeping quiet."

[darrynmiquiztli]

Darryn gave him a curious look. "I'm terrible at bottling up, I always let stuff spill out. Gil can read me like a book - that's a terrible thing, isn't it? Being unable to at smile at your kid sometimes and tell them things are okay and have them believe you for their own good."

Darryn twisted his head until he could rest it against Maruice's hip. Him being on the chair and the Memory Keeper standing gave him a perfect vantage point for that. "It's less that I bottle up and more that I take things in my own way, that is completely opposite to how he's taking them... that's what blows up."

[mem_more_mihs]

"He is a difficult man isn't he?" Maurice took advantage of that position to gently stroke Darryn's head. "As for Gilbert, you can't blame yourself for that. He is an observant young man, just like you are."

[darrynmiquiztli]

"I didn't teach him to be," Darryn said a little ruefully. He pulled Maurice onto his lap, wrapping his arms around his friend in a warm hug and resting his head instead on Maurice's shoulder.

"Do you think if he found someone else to be close to, even just as a friend he'd... you know. If it would threaten us?"

[mem_more_mihs]

"I think that it would enrich you." Maurice said honestly, enjoying the warmth of Darryn's lap. It was so nice.

"When I spend time with other people, I am always so happy to return to Rutgar at the days end. I am sure Thanatos would feel the same way."

[darrynmiquiztli]

Darryn nodded slowly, then pressed his nose and forehead against Maurice's shoulder tighter. "Self-esteem issues, I guess.

"You don't get out much though, do you? You have too much effort with work and keeping the family in order. I should try and get you out more too, let alone him."

[mem_more_mihs]

"It probably would do you good." Maurice agreed gently. "your children are very good at it, perhaps follow their example?"

[darrynmiquiztli]

Darryn noticed that Maurice ignored that he was changing subject to the Memory Keeper. He allowed it.

"I've done my world travelling," Darryn pointed out. "A lot in the years between before Shinii and before Gilbert. There's no where I really need to see any more. I go out and see friends, not always in the library, so I don't really know how much more I can get out. Its more that I think he needs to get out, but if he did I'd... get paranoid. Like if he had a friend he wanted to leave the library for, when he rarely leaves it with me, or left it in the past to see me..."

Darryn sighed. "Issues."

[mem_more_mihs]

"I believe your happiness that he is becoming more social would outweigh your paranoia. At least I hope so. You will never know for sure until it happens but there is no need to force it."

He smiled still, pondering what Darryn had said about being done with his travels

"You don't often visit people outside Mnemosynis, aside from your occasional trip to the Wishstars farm. Do you, Darryn?"

[darrynmiquiztli]

"Visit Memory Keepers, people who interact with my children, go out with my children, see how things are on the farm... I suppose that's about it."

Homesickness gurgled up in Darryn's gullet, and he didn't care for the feeling. He supposed he should have expected a lot of tangents of sadness, being where he was. "I can't really go to the one world I desperately want to visit."

[mem_more_mihs]

"I think your old friends would be happy if you had more. You do know that souls cycle around many many times. It's possible you might find those souls again."

His eyes softened in pity.

"I'm sorry you can't visit your homeland, Darryn. The Goddess was particularly cruel to you on that score in my opinion."

[darrynmiquiztli]

"Yeah, not really a fan of that aspect of divinity, to be honest with you." Nor was he a fan of talking about his divinity, so Darryn switched subjects.

"And to continue with honestly, I'm a friendly guy but I do have trouble making friends I suppose. People like me, I like them... but I've not really gotten a super close special friendship going on right now."

[mem_more_mihs]

"That's sad." Maurice commented. "I think you are a wonderful friend, you deserve to have more friendship in your life both on a receiving and giving spectrum."

[darrynmiquiztli]

Darryn smiled with a tight lipped expression. "You know, when I was a kid, my best friend was enforced upon me. I was trouble, so they needed me to be watched as a trouble-child. So they put an older boy on my case. Somehow Sindjun stuck at it though, can't have been much in it for him, and in the end of it all... there was a lot of upset. But yeah, it's like I've never been good at making friends. I've had a fair number of people like me, but I'm kind of friendship backwards when I think about it, I suppose. I find it hard to get close. Maybe it's an assassin thing."

[mem_more_mihs]

"Perhaps." Maurice nodded. He had noted that about Darryn, but didn't know it extended into his past as well.

"Either way, when you are aware of something and have said it out loud, often you find you begin to change."

[darrynmiquiztli]

"Maybe," Darryn said, although in truth he thought he'd acknowledged that enough long ago and it hadn't yet changed. Time was different to Memory Keepers though.

"I suppose I've taken up too much of your time with my whining, right?" Darryn smiled, brushing his hand back through his hair.